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This House is Haunted

from The Sexiest Man on Earth by Aaron Ackerson

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about

As heard on the Dr. Demento show

lyrics

I was glad to be done unpacking
I had just finished moving in
But before I could relax
I felt a chill go through my skin
Before me appeared a spector
translucent and wearing chains
He said, "This is where I lived years ago
and this is where I shall remain."

When I bought this house, I was feelin' happy
But now I'm hearing voices and it's really crappy
I bought this place from a guy named Gary
I wish he would have told me how it's really scary
This House is Haunted and I want my money back

I invited my girl over
for a chicken dinner by candle light
I prepared for it all day
to make sure everything went right
But when we sat down to eat
and I was about to start romancin'
the bird got up off the plate
and started dancin'

Then my girl ran off and I haven't seen her since
I'm sick of this spirit's stupid tricks
I wish I could make him go away
but until I move, he is here to stay
This House is Haunted and I want my money back

Now I have trouble sleeping at night
and my social life is dead
not unlike the poltergeist
who's been screwing with my head
I blame it all
on the guy who sold me this place
After I paid him in cash
he just laughed and drove away

At the time, he seemed like a real nice guy
His price was low and now I know why
I liked the location. It was close to Starbucks
Now I see dead people and it really sucks
This House is Haunted and I want my money back
This House is Haunted and I want my money back

credits

from The Sexiest Man on Earth, released June 10, 2004
Violin: Kristina Dutton
Acoustic 12-string guitar: Elia Einhorn
Electric bass: Kevin Martinez
Drums: Nick Alvarez
Additional engineering: Alison Li and Blaze A. Klingberg

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Aaron Ackerson Chicago, Illinois

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